Friday, August 10, 2012

Little did I know...

I've been without Internet access for a while, and so much has happened since I last blogged, that I'm a little bit at a loss where to start. In my last post I said life was calming down. Ha. HahahahahahahaHA!

Little did I know that my house had been sold in foreclosure that very morning (but I wouldn't find out for another week). I won't go into gory details, but suffice to say life was NOT anywhere near a calming-down point.  Within three weeks I found a new place for the three of us to live, picked up, and moved. So easy to type, but really a STRESSSFUUULLL thing to do.

Our saving grace throughout the whole ordeal was Footloose and our amazing castmates. The fact that all three of us had that escape, where we could take the stage together, become other people, struggle as our characters and triumph every single time... It was precious.  I had no idea when Footloose opened just how much closer to Ethel's life mine would become. I had no idea what stress she would see me through. I had no idea how much those 'I love you, Mom' hugs from JB, my terrific stage son, would mean.

So after Saturday's closing show, all day Sunday, and into Monday, I was a hot mess. The show, and our saving grace, has ended, even though life's craziness goes on. The people that we've grown so accustomed to seeing over the last twelve weeks are headed back to their regular lives, many to college in other cities. We miss them already. A lot.

And a new chapter of life begins for us, too. I've got a new job, with Tarrant County Mental Health and Mental Retardation services as an employment specialist. My official first day is August 21st, but I've got pre-employment appointments next week. I haven't worked full time for someone besides me in a very long time; I've never worked full time as a single parent. It's going to be a huge adjustment for all of us, and I'm honestly a little scared. (What? Stacey scared?)

Tonight I went to preview night of Forever Plaid at Plaza. We helped with the changeover on Tuesday and Wednesday, and Norseman was asked to Assistant Stage Manage... It is such a cute show. Not as high-energy as Footloose, but quite entertaining nonetheless. It was still sad for me, though. One week ago, I was Ethel on that stage. I'm not sure if it helped or not to know the eyes I painted for Footloose are still there, visible if you know to look for them, under the cheesy Fuselounge wall fringe.

I did have a hard time letting go of Annie, largely because it was my first show. But at the time, I was already cast as Yente and had something to jump directly into. Millionaire's close was sad because it was such a small tight-knit cast, but I had no emotional attachment to Emma (frankly she annoyed me), and I had Guys and Dolls immediately after. Footloose, though... *sigh* This one has been especially hard to let go of. Ethel was me, and I was Ethel. She wore my clothes, now I'm wearing hers. She struggled and nurtured and danced victorious. I'm struggling and nurturing, and I hope someday to dance victorious. And I have nothing to jump directly into. Ragtime auditions are the evening of my first day of work. I may get cast, I may not. Even if I do, Ragtime is a big heavy show like Fiddler, not high-spirited and fun.

Until work/Ragtime, we're getting settled into the new place. Unpacking, moving in, adjusting. Trying not to think too much about upcoming changes. Missing our stage family (Sunshine and JB would argue about whose mom I was. "She's MY mom." "No, she's MY mom.").

God never gives you more than you can handle. Right about now I'm clinging to that promise.

1 comment:

Beaver said...

I was tempted to update my comment on that last post to "yeah right" after things unfolded. Glad that you also saw the irony.

And about the "God never gives us more than we can handle" thing--I have learned that the truth is that He never gives us more than we can handle with His help. If I had to do it all alone, I would have crashed and burned a long time ago.

Love you, seester.