News flash: Exxon Mobil Corp., the world's biggest oil company, said first-quarter profits climbed to $8.4 billion from $7.86 billion.
News flash: Valero Energy Corp., the country's largest refiner, reported the highest first-quarter profits in its history, $849 million, up 60 percent (SIXTY PERCENT!!!!) from the same period last year.
Something is very wrong with this picture.
To mollify Americans, some senators are pushing for a $100 rebate check to all taxpayers, perhaps as a bribe to get us to quit whining about the government's crappy handling of the entire situation.
Okay, yeah, I wouldn't mind getting a check for $100, no strings attached. But there are always strings with the government. Rebate now likely means higher taxes later, and if they continue to give the oil companies huge tax breaks, nothing is solved. Besides, $100 will only pay for two tanks of gasoline.
And this nonsense about easing environmental regulations.... Can you imagine the utter glee at the headquarters of those gas companies? They're already making hundreds of millions of dollars MORE, and now they may get to save money on cleaning up their oil? WOOHOOO! Pass the Cuervo! Say hello to my little dead frog.
Happy Towel Day! - Hey, hoopy froods, it's Towel Day! This is the day when we celebrate hitchhiking the galaxy, Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters, and, of course, potted petunia...
13 hours ago