However, this has gotten me thinking again about funerary traditions. One of my favorite books of all time is Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers. In it, Mary Roach details all sorts of useful things you can do after you die. Obviously there's the whole Gross Anatomy thing, but did you know you could also help improve vehicle safety by becoming a crash test dummy? Or help forensic scientists research how a body decomposes under various conditions? You could help aspiring plastic surgeons perfect the latest techniques in face lifts, or even help grow food for the hungry. It's a really interesting book, and it's frequently very humorous, too.
After my paternal grandfather died, I decided that I don't want to be embalmed, put on display in a ridiculously expensive box, then buried in said ridiculously expensive box. I personally think embalming is silly. The body is going to rot anyway. Why spend thousands of dollars to prolong the process when you're just gonna put 'em in the ground in a day or two? And a casket! Holy moley. Cremation and a simple black canister (or biodegradable box) is the way to be buried if you're gonna go the cemetery route.
After David's dad died, the family did go the cremation and simple black box route. But I started to question the whole cemetery idea. Cemeteries in general are sad places. People visit their deceased loved ones in cemeteries, as though their loved ones are still there. They focus on the 'death' part of their loved ones' lives, rather than the 'life' parts. Sure, from a genealogical standpoint, cemeteries are a treasure trove of information, and I am one of those odd people who likes to visit historical cemeteries and wander among the headstones. But I really don't want to spend more than a few hours in one, ever.
Here's my thing: When I die, I'm outta here. I'll be on the next train to Heaven, sayonara! But I do want what's left of me on earth to be useful! Please, if you love me, donate any usable tissue to someone still living whose life could be saved or improved by it. Whatever's left... can be a crash test dummy, a parachute prototype tester, a decomposition subject, a dissection cadaver, I don't really care. If nothing useful can be done with me (or after I've done something useful), torch me and scatter the charred bits in a flower garden. Buy a brick for a library and put my name on it, then visit the library to remember me. Then... throw a party! Oooh! A luau would be cool, or a fiesta! I love theme parties with lots of bright colors! Play music you can groove to, and give wet raspberries to anyone who wears black or navy.
And if I believe one day a group of med students might be in Gross Anatomy, carefully peeling away layers of fat on my belly, it'll help me stay slender. Because I would just die if my belly looked like an ocean of curdled cheese.
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