My God is too big for a snowcone

Maybe seven or eight years ago, after a long struggle with religion and faith, I finally decided it was okay to let go of the dogma and contradictions of religion and just allow myself to experience God. No rules, no constraints, no dogma. Just... God.

And I was... amazed.

I found that religion is kind of like a snow cone. You have your paper cone (let's say that's the religious text of your choosing, Bible, Koran, Torah, etc.), you have your flavored syrups (let's say that's your specific religious flavor, catholic, lutheran, baptist, hassidic, etc.).  Then you have the shaved ice, without which a snow cone would just be a coneful of syrup. Let's say that this, the pure water, is God. The purest essence of love.

I found that outside of a cone, God was much bigger and vastly different. Continuing the metaphor, I found that God is not actually cone-shaped!! I discovered that my God has no real shape, no boundaries. And without that flavored syrup, God is actually much more refreshing for my body and soul. In fact, without the flavored syrup and constraints of the cone, I find that I can go sledding and skiing and make angels.

I also found that God can take many forms! God can be the ocean that keeps me afloat, the drink that nourishes, the ice that creates solid footing. God is really kinda amazing!!

The way I see it, the inventors of the multitude of religions (all human people with their own human agendas, btw, historic fact), created a container in which to stuff their specific bits of God, concocted a flavor they liked and suited their purposes, and soaked that pure essence of love in the thick syrup of religion.

Recent 'religious' controversies make me even more glad that I was able to let go and get to know God apart from the cone and the syrup. God is boundless, vast, and loving. The various small-minded hatreds that are slung around the news and interwebs in the name of religion are sad. That's not the God I know.

Confessions of happiness

I am happy. I realized this recently. I mean, I've always chosen to be happy as a matter of course, but there were so many things I wished I'd done differently, things I wished I could change. High school memories made me sad, made me long for those good times, those people. I think I lost myself for a long time, and wanted to find that person again. That is no longer the case. Over the past two years of being essentially single and self-sufficient, I found me again. And I am happy.

So. Single and self-sufficient. Yes. D and I have been separated for much longer than you would ever suspect, and we're finally in the process of the legalities needed for us to be completely independent people. We are still friends. He owns his own company in another state, and we get together as a family as often as is feasible. This has been our life for more than two years. People noticed that I just recently dropped the King from my name at work and in social media and gasped, but y'all, this has been imminent for many many years.

And yes, I am dating. Sort of. I have very high standards, apparently :) My work and rehearsal schedules are crazy, so it takes someone very patient and secure to persist in a dating relationship with me. So far only one guy has had the patience to coordinate a second date, and even a third, and he also seems, for the moment, to be okay with the fact that my closest friend is male.

Apparently the last five words of the above paragraph is 'weird' to family who live far away, who haven't seen or spoken to me in a very long time. Whatever.

I am so unbelievably fortunate to have the people in my life that I do. My kids, my friends, my theatre people. I've got some good shows and great projects coming up (I get to assistant direct Camelot!), and my very first trip to New York City is coming together. Sure, I wouldn't mind some romance, or a bigger place to live (having a real bedroom would be awesome), a little bit bigger paycheck...  But truly, I'm happy.

Those high school days that once held more appeal than present day can kiss my... grits.

Humans are dumb

I was shopping in Goodwill yesterday afternoon, browsing the mens' section for interesting shoes. I looked back over the row of shoes I'd just passed, seeing if I'd missed anything, and a pair that had not fazed me a bit caught my attention. It was a pair of quite large neon orange ballet flats. In the men's section. And I got to thinking. Whose idea was it to dictate fashion based on plumbing? WHY do we have social constructs regarding 'suitable' behaviors and 'appropriate' clothing based solely on the presence or lack of... um... external liquid waste nozzle? Once upon a time, EVERYONE wore dresses and sandals (shhhh... even Jesus). Why is it okay for women to wear 'mens' clothing but not the other way around? In other species the males get the flashy, frilly, colorful, lacy, stiletto markings/plumage to attract the ladies. They don't give a flying flip what gender their fellow species-member chooses to pair up with. Yet humans, who supposedly possess the advantage of 'reasoning', have based an entire complex social paradigm on the presence or lack of a penis.

I know, right?

I work with an older gentleman who has some mental disabilities. His mild disability has been pronounced by the system to be more severe simply because he would rather wear skirts and earrings. He has been shamed all his life, and was initially described to me as a short-tempered grumpy old man. Well duh! If I were shamed for being ME, I'd be short-tempered and grumpy, too! I don't give a hoot what he wears, and I've become one of his few friends. He's a gentle soul who is so rarely accepted for who he is, and truly doesn't understand why people are mean to him when he wears dresses.

I was thinking about that for the rest of the day, and obviously this morning too.

Humans are stupid.

But kudos to whoever 'filed' those shoes.

We officially live here--we have beds

So I'm sitting on a train with my laptop, trying to be productive. A blog update is productive, right?

Cash on Delivery is going into its last weekend. I love this cast, and I'm so blessed to have had this opportunity to work with them at a, well, a new theatre. This is Granbury Theatre Company's fifth official show (1776, The Secret Garden, I Do I Do, Plaid Tidings, Cash on Delivery). Anyway. Such a wonderful group of funny people who have a boatload of talent. Only four more shows.

And then The Sound of Music opens at Plaza. Norseman is sort of excited. I've not seen a rehearsal, but he says he's literally in two scenes, which is about four fewer than he'd anticipated as a chorus member.  But I guess a good portion of the show takes place in the Von Trapp household, where only family members are. That opens next Friday, and runs five or six weeks.

I did not get cast in Title of Show, so I have nothing officially on the horizon until March auditions for Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.  Granbury Theatre Company is doing Fiddler on the Roof, which opens just after Scoundrels auditions. That will likely audition sometime next month, and I would love to go for Fruma Sarah. That's the part I'd wanted when Plaza did it last February, but the role was cast before callbacks. I was happy to be Yente, though. Carrie Rivera kicked boo-tay as Fruma Sarah in that production (and earned a Column Award nomination for that performance! --edited 2/2)

Sunshine was asked to be part of the chorus of her school's production of Guys and Dolls, but with only two weeks' notice. That and the $100+ in costume fees (say what?) caused her to politely decline.

I guess our big news, at least for me, is that we adopted a piano! It's a 1903 Kimball upright player piano. The player part is non-functional, but the piano part is fine. It's even mostly in tune, though I'll have it tuned up soon. My friend JL posted a picture on Facebook Saturday saying 'Free to good home! Just come get it!' My thumbs could barely type a reply fast enough (I was on my phone), as I nearly hyperventilated with excitement. Dad, the kids and I took his flatbed trailer to get it the next day (and then moaned and groaned in pain all day Monday—player pianos are even heavier than non-player pianos). I've wanted a piano since before I was five. Grandma Greenawalt had a piano, which I was sometimes allowed to 'play.'  Our piano is missing the player roller assembly, but it has the pneumatic bellows and such. Norseman and I went poking around in it, figuring out how it worked, how the player pedals folded out, how the player control panel was revealed. It was like National Treasure. “I wonder what this lever does... Oh wow, that is freaking awesome!”

Also, as of Sunday, we all now have real beds. No one is sleeping on a mattress or fold-out foam couch on the floor. All mattresses are now on real bed frames. I got my bed frame a few weeks ago, Norseman got his Sunday. Only six months after we moved in.

One other piece of odd news: I'm parting with my brainchild, ShutterMuse. A professional photographer in Canada contacted me about purchasing it. At first I was reticent (understatement) and completely ignored his inquiries. ShutterMuse is mine, dangit. It's part of me, part of my growth as a photographer, and by association, as an artist. But he persisted, and I had to concede that it really is doing no one any good as is. It's parked, unused,  And realistically, I'm not likely to do anything with it in the conceivable future. So I gave in. And I have mixed feelings about selling. It's weird, I guess. Even weirder to have such mixed feelings about what is essentially a blip of creative thought.

Chances are slim, but hopes are pathetically high

Norseman is deep into rehearsals for Sound of Music, Cash on Delivery and See How They Run are both open (got a great costuming mention in the Column review today!), and we're still not as busy as we were during Carol rehearsals.

Now that Cash is underway, of course I'm looking ahead to what's next. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels auditions aren't until mid-March, which is kind of an eternity away when you have nothing in the wings until then.

I'd initially figured I wouldn't audition for [title of show] because only two of the four roles are female, and with only four roles, all roles are major roles. I figured there was nothing in the show for me; that I really had no chance of getting cast, so why bother, right?

Then I did a show at another theatre. In Cash on Delivery, I'm working with a whole group of very seasoned actors, many of whom actually make, or have made, their living doing this--cruise ships, ballet companies, theatre directors and teachers, with more than a hundred years combined experience--who don't know where I've been other than what's in my bio. They see where I AM NOW, what I put on the stage NOW. And they utterly respect me and the talent I bring to the show. I can more than hold my own among these pro and semi-pro actors.

And then I listened to the cast recording--I mean truly listened. To the lyrics and the characters who sing them. The whole show is so FUN! Plaza is doing the Apropos version, so it'll be somewhat different, but still: FUN! One character in particular stood out, though, and I went, "Hey! That's almost me!"

So I'm auditioning. I know I'm capable. And if by chance I can convince the director I'm capable and right for the role, that the baggage of what I could do ten shows ago has no bearing on what I can do now, I'll have a kick-ass time on this show.

If not, the audition will be valuable experience, and I'll look forward to my Dirty Rotten Scoundrels audition, with perhaps another Granbury audition before then.

Here's a pic of our awesome Cash on Delivery cast!

5:08 and I'm still sane

It was a little disconcerting this morning to realize that there was no place any of us had to be today. No rehearsals, no holiday parties. It was almost akin to that weird panic you get when the Internet is out. I may or may not be addicted to going and doing.

It's now nearly 5pm and I've not yet lost my mind, so it's all good, probably.  Laundry is going, kitchen is clean, bathrooms are clean-ish. Vacuumed, ate, emailed. So far a productive day, and I'm still in my jammies.

Norseman did get cast in Sound of Music, though there was a bit of hubbub surrounding that. He killed auditions, did fabulously. He nailed his song and the German accent, and received great feedback that night from the directors. He watched his phone like a hawk on the appointed call day and even the day after, but received no invitation to callbacks. He found out later that he was in fact called back, but for some reason never received the voicemail left by the stage manager. He also learned that only significant roles were called back, so he was more than a little bummed to have missed the opportunity to at least compete for a good role. Instead, he was cast in the male chorus, and will be a solid vocal contribution.

Cash on Delivery is shaping up to be a hilarious show, and I am giddy-thrilled to be a part of it. Now that I'm more familiar with the script, I have to say that even though the role of Brenda Dixon is the smallest, it's the most fun. If I'd known more about the play when I auditioned, I'd have asked specifically for this part.  Brenda is a special mess of crazy, and in my barely ten minutes on stage I get to run the gamut from annoyed, concerned, angry, hysterical, seething, worried, crushed, sad, devastated, tipsy, anguished, surprised, relieved, excited, and lovestruck. I got a 'Bravo!' from a castmate at yesterday's rehearsal. I love this role! And she's a far cry from Ethel McCormack.

A Christmas Carol is heading into its final week. Shows every night this week, closing on Saturday night. I'm already bummed that in one week it will be over, and I won't be playing with any of my Carol peeps any time in the near future. I miss 'em already. :-(

Soon we'll be attending the wedding of two of my Annie castmates (one of whom I bragged about here), which will undoubtedly be a reunion of many shows, as both have been busy Plaza actors for a while. I'm excited for them--they are adorable together.

I am so blessed to know the people and have the opportunities I do.

Ready, set...

The Saturday shows were a little easier. I think most of us at least managed not to cry at all by the evening show. The Tiny Tim grave scene is the hardest.

One good thing: I snagged my script for Cash on Delivery at Granbury Theatre Company. Yep, that's a bit of news I've not found time to blog. I shared my dilemma, but not the outcome.

I did manage to scoot across the street that Saturday to audition for See How They Run. It went very well; I read for all three female parts and even the usually-male Sergeant. They had very few people audition, and I think I did as well as I could have, so I was encouraged.

Cash on Delivery auditions were changed to one-and-done (no callbacks) on that same Saturday. I'd arranged with Luke, the director, to audition for him before the matinee of Ragtime, but when he heard about the sparse Run auditions, I think he figured I'd be cast there, so we didn't take the time to read for Cash.

On Tuesday, one of the producers pulled me aside at Carol rehearsal and said they were very impressed with my Run audition, and really tried to figure out some creative casting options for me, but since the three female roles were all pretty big parts, my Carol performance schedule conflicting so much with rehearsal schedule was just an insurmountable obstacle. Which I totally understand. I'd...um... sort of forgotten... that we had four additional weekday performances... which would obviously necessitate my missing rehearsal.

The next day, I messaged Luke and let him know that if he needed people (he also had slim pickin's as far as auditioners) and could work with my schedule, I was available. He sent me some audition sides, I read for him before our Thursday performance of Ragtime. Then the following Sunday evening, he called to offer me the role of Brenda Dixon, the fiancee of one of the main characters who doesn't show up until half-way through Act II. Of course I accepted. Those rehearsals start next weekend for me.

I'm excited to add another theatre to my résumé, and this is a fun, small-but-juicy comedic role. Miss Dixon is the center of attention nearly every minute she's on stage.

Norseman will audition for The Sound of Music at Plaza on Tuesday, so between costuming Run, Cash rehearsals for me and possibly Music rehearsals for him, we may be running silly for a while.
What a blessing :)

Sadness

Every good parent has them, I think. Those worst-case-scenario dreams where you wake up sobbing, then have to get out of bed and go check on your sleeping babies to make sure they're still with you. Even when the babies are teenagers. Oh how I wish Mark and Debra could wake up, go check on him, and find him snoring peacefully.

Driving back from Oklahoma yesterday, we were still nearly 90 minutes from home when we received word that a family dear to us had lost one of its own. They were on their way to dress rehearsal for Casa Manana's Twas the Night Before Christmas when, out of the blue, 13-year-old Caleb's heart stopped beating during an apparent seizure (he had no history of seizures).

The rest of the day can be summed up in two words: Shock. Tears.

All three of us have shared the stage with Caleb. He was in Footloose, an animated, goofy part of the core dance crew, who delighted in the fact that he could sing the bass part in Mama Says. He and his brother were the boys Yente brings to Golde in Fiddler on the Roof. "They are wonderful boys, Golde, from good families. Each of them a prize, a jewel." He let me pretend to spit-smooth his hair and straighten his vest every show. He was silly and gracious, exuberant and nearly always grinning, and had a snappy, intelligent sense of humor far beyond his years. This pic is from closing day of Footloose.

Last night we opened A Christmas Carol. Nearly every person in the cast has worked with Caleb. It was probably the hardest show most of us have ever done.

Tomorrow is never guaranteed. Hug your babies every day, and live as though it's your last.

My prayers, my breaking heart, and my tears are with the Midkiff family today and months to come.

A very cool dilemma when I think about it

It's only been a month since I last posted, yet I feel as though I've been neglecting this blog. It's not like many people read it--I guess I blog more for my own benefit.

Trying to think of non-theatre news, and have none, really. I've now worked long enough at my job to be able to take PTO time. Um... Norseman got his class shirt and is scheduled for yearbook pics... Sunshine got contacts.  Oh, and I realized it was daylight savings and set my clocks back this morning.

Yeah. That's about it.

Theatre news? Why yes! I do have theatre news.

Ragtime is simply amazing. (Stellar review here.)  (Another one here.) We only have two weekends left, which is kind of sad. It is SUCH a good show, and I imagine will receive multiple award nominations. It's THAT good. We have an equity actor in the cast, so the show will be considered in the Equity category for Column Awards, a first for Plaza.  After last night's show, a man shook my hand and said "You have such a beautiful voice." Which is kind of cool, since I'm a chorus member and have no solo songs. But I am usually the only alto around and sing loud to be heard in a sea of sopranos.

Sunshine's Footloose double, NM, is in A Christmas Carol. She had a double, but said double had to quit the show. So Sunshine agreed to take the role, and double with NM again.  Yes, despite being very mature and deciding against auditioning, she got sucked into the show anyway. :) Tech week for that show is Thanksgiving week, which the kids have off from school. And since I can now take PTO time, I'm already planning to work half days that week.

I mentioned that I'm costuming See How They Run, and that I might have to audition. Granbury Theatre Company is doing Cash on Delivery in the same time slot. Both shows are directed by men who were single-cast in Guys and Dolls at Plaza. I'd love to do both shows, but as I'm costuming Run and it's only 9 miles away, that would be my preference. However, Cash is a great show, too, and I would love to work with GTC. My original plan was to audition for Run on Monday night, and I'd at least know if I was called back before Cash auditions on Saturday. I thought I'd hit a snag when Run auditions were moved to Saturday, no appointment required, auditions and callbacks rolled into one. At the same time that I'm to be in Carol rehearsal. At the same time as Cash auditions.

But I messaged with the Run director, who agreed to let me audition after rehearsal if I couldn't slip away. Yay! Though I suspect he already has people (who are not me) in mind for roles. And I also talked to the Cash director, who invited me to crash callbacks next Tuesday! (!!) *blink* UmWhat? Can you repeat that?  Just come directly to callbacks? Me? *blink* Yep. So I'm really excited about that. Except that Carol rehearsals will be buckling down by then and I hate missing ANY rehearsal and I'm single cast and my absence would be an annoyance for everybody. But I'm not sure how I can pass this up. It's an honor, and speaks to the director's confidence in me. I need to take advantage of this opportunity.

I've consulted my Carol stage manager, and will talk to the director, too. If I'm cast in Run (hah!), it's a moot point. If not (probable), it's a dilemma.

Here we come a Caroling

It appears I have neglected to chronicle an audition/callback/casting! Seems I have a lot less blogging time between working full time and rehearsing Ragtime. And we get to add rehearsing A Christmas Carol to the hecticness... hecticosity... bedlam.

It was sort of a last minute thing--we were all on the fence about auditioning for A Christmas Carol. I had sort of decided against auditioning when Tina asked me to costume See How They Run. However, on the Monday evening of Monday/Tuesday auditions, we all talked it over. Sunshine very maturely and wisely decided that her grades might suffer if she were cast in consecutive shows, so she opted not to audition. Norseman and I... well... we found a backing track for Silent Night and auditioned with it the next evening. We were then called back, and cast! Norseman is Ensemble, I am Georgina/Ensemble. Sunshine has already volunteered to work backstage during performances, but will not have to attend rehearsals after Ragtime opens.

Yesterday we had Ragtime rehearsal in the morning, our first Carol rehearsal in the afternoon, then went to see Arsenic and Old Lace in the evening. In other words, it was kind of an awesome day.

Today was also a pretty awesome day, largely because I never had to get out of my jammies.

Costuming again

Woot! I'll have more to add to my 'Adventures in Costuming' saga! Plaza's Eminent Costumer asked me if I'd like to costume January's production of See How They Run! Of course I said yes! What is particularly exciting is that this is a period piece, set in the late 40's, one of my favorite eras. And now that I've been at Plaza for nearly a year and helped in the costuming of many other shows, I have a better feel for the job, and I have a little bit more lead time than I did with The Foreigner.

I'm re-reading the script this morning, making notes. Such a funny, funny script. I'm giggling and snorting as I read. I might even have to audition.

Excited. :) I love theatre.

Welcome mat mystery

Just a quick follow-up on my previous post. The welcome mat was in the yard when I got home from picking up Norseman at 10:20 last night. But... it was gone when I left for work this morning at 7:20. It was dark for eight of those nine hours. Flat scrollwork mat not highly visible in the grass. Only four people knew it was there (the three of us and Mr. UnNeighborly).

Curious.

True story of a day's demise...

I got off work early today, and had the pleasure of picking up the kids up from school. We encountered no traffic, got home before 4:20, and figured we'd have twenty minutes before we needed to head back out to go to Plaza. It was shaping up to be a great day!

Walking up the front walk, I see a brown pile on the black doormat. "Good Lord, what IS that?"


Why yes, it is poo. Poo #5. The next door neighbor's Yorkie leaves passive-aggressive presents for us. Still. Despite my asking her owners three times to either clean it up or keep her in their own yard.

Poo #1 was 8/22

Poo #3 was 8/29

So I was already grumbling as I unlocked the front door, and walked into my house to see...

this:

"Wow."

Just.... Wow.

And the culprit?

Hiding.

As I surveyed the mess again, I noticed a few things.

--Staggering amount of slobber and snot on the window. Staggering. It was gross.

--Mountain of shredded blind slats behind the couch. Shredded slats all over the living room, under the couch behind the television stand.

--Stack of frames scattered across the living room, one of which has been broken, the glass in dozens of pieces.

--Dog hair ALL over the couch, which is off limits to dogs.

...

Something on the other side of that window (i.e. in the side yard) clearly had my border collie riled up. And being riled up, she got tangled in the blinds. And then she panicked.

My memory tickled, aided in part by the pile of poo still on my doormat, and I remembered that the #$%@ Yorkie was in my side yard as I left for work this morning, while her owner worked under his truck, completely oblivious.

:-/

I stopped by Lowe's and picked up another pair of blinds, cleaned up the inside mess and hung the new blinds. Totally did not want to deal with the poo, so I honestly just dragged the whole doormat to the driveway. It's a duplex, and by the time I got home, my doormat was in my side yard with remnants of poo still on it. That's where it rests still, and will stay until I get home from work tomorrow.

I'm at a loss. Passive aggressive Yorkie with un-neighborly owners. A bored border collie. I have not the energy to deal with this stuff after a long day at work. And who the heck photographs poo?!?

Footloose pics

Siblings playing siblings. Love these guys.

Ren can't stand still. And he apparently gets his style from his mother. :D

Ethel. "Noticing my hands start to shake; contemplating taking up smoking..."

Ethel. "While my mind takes a small vacation. La la la, la la la..."

Vi, Ethel, and Ariel. "I'm becoming a mime..."

Ethel. "Ren, if I don't say something I'm going to burst!"

Ethel and Ren. "You didn't speak from your heart."

Finale (and one of my most favorite photos ever!)

Commence new normal

I have Footloose pictures to share, so I thought I'd post an update, too.  Will put the pics in a separate post, though.

School started this past Monday, as did Plaza Academy, and as expected it was a crazy week. It'll take a few more weeks for us to get into the groove of the new schedule, but we're getting there. Finding time for homework is going to be a challenge, especially for the AP and Pre-AP classes both kiddos are taking.

It was also my first full week on the job. I did have two mornings of training (I'm now CPR certified), but spent the rest of the week doing my real job. And had a fairly productive week! I do like my job, and I think I'll be good at it. I plan to front-load my week so I can take off early on Thursdays--our craziest day.

And as though we didn't have enough going on, Ragtime rehearsals started this week! What a wonderful cast!  Only music rehearsals thus far, but holy nugget we sound amazing. I'm excited because I get to be a hoity-toity resident of New Rochelle. Which means I get to wear a hat. And not just any hat. A fabulously over the top turn of the century ladies' hat. Such as those I was so envious of and didn't get to wear in Millionaire.

It's good to be busy, though I think the dogs would prefer us to be less so. The border collie is having some issues with me working all day and then us going to class and/or rehearsal. Need to find her some better toys and chew-things.

Next weekend is the last weekend of Forever Plaid, so we'll have a few weekends of no shows before Ragtime opens. We'll see Arsenic and Old Lace a few times, of course. And we'll have to continue our Fab Friday ritual of getting small ice cream cones at Braums, which started opening weekend after the Friday show. Five Fridays so far, dozens of flavors from which to choose, but each week it's been a frozen yogurt twist, a peppermint scoop, and a caramel apple scoop. We don't stray too far from our favorite things. :)

Also in the pipes: It was nearly a year ago that Mom handed me that stack of papers she'd printed from the Plaza website, and we plan to celebrate with a Woot Day Soirée in a couple of weeks. Woot! One year at Plaza!! It'll be after I get a paycheck, so we might even be able to have some real furniture in time for friends to sit on it!

That's it for now. Will post Footloose pics next.

Ragtime family affair

Much to all of our surprise, we were all called and offered parts in Ragtime :) Norseman will be a newsboy, Sunshine a person of New Rochelle, and I will be Kathleen, the Irish maid. What did I say about my ease with accents? And I've already twice proven I can be a terrific maid. I'm very excited to be doing another show with both my kiddos.

I can't lie, though. I'm still disappointed. But ever since Annie callbacks, I've known without a shred of doubt there's a Higher Plan. I needed Plaza this past year more than I possibly could have known I would. And thus far, the hardest disappointment paved the way for the biggest blessing. Not getting Adelaide was brutal, but now I see that if I'd gotten Adelaide, I wouldn't have gotten Ethel. And it turns out that I really needed Ethel. So I will trust that Higher Plan, trust the producers and directors, and play the best danged Irish maid I can.

With my amazing kids by my side. Yes, this will be a great show.

Is 'Update' too boring a title?

Work. Still on the fence about this. My boss and coworkers are wonderful people, and I'm eager/anxious to become more familiar with my job and gain the confidence I need to do it effectively. This week I spent three days in training, learning Satori Alternatives to Managing Aggression (SAMA) and more standard stuff that every MHMRTC employee needs to know. Friday I was actually in the office for the first time. And somehow Friday was much more exhausting than the three days of often very physically challenging SAMA. Right now I'm still a little overwhelmed.

At least I was able to get the first few days out of the way without also having to worry about getting kids to school. But alas, school starts tomorrow. For the first time in my memory NO ONE is excited about it, not even Sunshine. At one time school was the center of their social universe, but they now have a much wider circle of friends. So we're all sort of stressing about this coming week.

Also this week: Classes start at Plaza Academy. Both kids are on scholarship as interns, and are taking Ballet for Teens AND Audition Prep. I'm excited for them! We couldn't afford classes this semester, so the intern scholarships are hugely appreciated.

Related news: We all auditioned for Ragtime, and were all very disappointed. Which happens in theatre. There is always stiff competition for roles, and in good theatres that's especially so. Plaza is a stellar theatre. Sunshine and Norseman sang beautifully at their auditions (it was Norseman's very first audition ever), and felt they did well on the cold read. Both were complimented on their voices, but neither was called back. I was crazy nervous as usual at the audition, but thought I did very well--better than usual. I was called back for 'various female roles', but didn't understand until I got there that that meant the female roles that were not Mother, Emma, or Evelyn. That I was deemed unworthy of a main role without being given the opportunity to read for it was... really tough. In this case it wasn't actually a surprise, per se, I didn't truly expect to get one of those parts, but I did think I'd be given the opportunity to at least read. Anyway, as a result of my trying not to cry/throw up/scream, I didn't do so wonderful on the stuff I WAS asked to read. Lots of other very talented ladies there did much much better and deserve the opportunity, and new/prodigal faces are never a bad thing, so I don't expect to get cast. Pretty much the only thing I have in my favor is my ease with accents.

Callbacks were yesterday, so the day started out on a rough note, but ended nicely! My sister and mom wanted to go see Forever Plaid, so I got us all tickets. Saturday night shows are always great, especially because that's the night more Plaza alum attend.  Got to see lots of former castmates and give/get lots of hugs. Which I really really needed yesterday.

Internet access!

Buahahahahah! It's ALIIIIIIVVE! (The computer, I mean).

We were without Internet access for nearly a month! Okay, when I say 'without Internet access', I'm speaking of REAL internet. We had our phones, which I guess count--we could facebook and browse reddit and whatnot. But it sure is nice to be able to type with ALL my fingers on a full-size keyboard!

Update on the job: I went for my pre-employment testing yesterday. Had my very first breathalyzer test, on which I scored a .000. Shocker. She even gave me an escape clause... I'd been sitting in the waiting room for more than 35 minutes, but she asked if I'd used any cough syrup or mouthwash in the last 15 minutes. Um, no. I think hair gel/spray is the most alcohol I've been in contact with in the last six months. She laughed at me 'cause I was just a wee bit excited--I'd only ever seen breathalyzers on television! Now I have first-hand, hands-on experience!

I had to be able to lift 25 lbs with only my arms, measured with a spring gauge. I got to 72 lbs before she stopped me. Had to step up and down the stairs at a specified pace for three minutes. I don't even think my heart rate elevated. What is sad is that there are young, so-called 'able-bodied' people who would not be able to meet these requirements.

Got a TB skin test, which I have to go get checked tomorrow. Right now it looks like a teeny needle stick.

Also tomorrow! Going to see Urinetown at ICT in Irving. My friends Caroline (Annie and Fiddler) and Jerry (Foreigner and Fiddler) are in it. I'll be taking Sunshine, another theatre kid, and my Ethel double Heather with me! (Norseman will be Plaiding). Very excited!

And yeah, still apprehensive and a little melancholy, but I choose happy.

Kinda freaky

Just a smidgen freaked out. One month before my house sold, I had a dream, detailed in this post: Celebrity Dream Oddities. In that dream "Rod Stewart showed up at our house, except it wasn't THIS house, you know what I mean? He drove a little blue Mini Cooper."

A month after that post, almost to the day, I learned that we'd be moving to another house. Our new landlord, Mike, sort of resembles a manly, bald Rod Stewart. And, get this... HE DRIVES A LITTLE BLUE MINI COOPER.

*goosebumps*

Little did I know...

I've been without Internet access for a while, and so much has happened since I last blogged, that I'm a little bit at a loss where to start. In my last post I said life was calming down. Ha. HahahahahahahaHA!

Little did I know that my house had been sold in foreclosure that very morning (but I wouldn't find out for another week). I won't go into gory details, but suffice to say life was NOT anywhere near a calming-down point.  Within three weeks I found a new place for the three of us to live, picked up, and moved. So easy to type, but really a STRESSSFUUULLL thing to do.

Our saving grace throughout the whole ordeal was Footloose and our amazing castmates. The fact that all three of us had that escape, where we could take the stage together, become other people, struggle as our characters and triumph every single time... It was precious.  I had no idea when Footloose opened just how much closer to Ethel's life mine would become. I had no idea what stress she would see me through. I had no idea how much those 'I love you, Mom' hugs from JB, my terrific stage son, would mean.

So after Saturday's closing show, all day Sunday, and into Monday, I was a hot mess. The show, and our saving grace, has ended, even though life's craziness goes on. The people that we've grown so accustomed to seeing over the last twelve weeks are headed back to their regular lives, many to college in other cities. We miss them already. A lot.

And a new chapter of life begins for us, too. I've got a new job, with Tarrant County Mental Health and Mental Retardation services as an employment specialist. My official first day is August 21st, but I've got pre-employment appointments next week. I haven't worked full time for someone besides me in a very long time; I've never worked full time as a single parent. It's going to be a huge adjustment for all of us, and I'm honestly a little scared. (What? Stacey scared?)

Tonight I went to preview night of Forever Plaid at Plaza. We helped with the changeover on Tuesday and Wednesday, and Norseman was asked to Assistant Stage Manage... It is such a cute show. Not as high-energy as Footloose, but quite entertaining nonetheless. It was still sad for me, though. One week ago, I was Ethel on that stage. I'm not sure if it helped or not to know the eyes I painted for Footloose are still there, visible if you know to look for them, under the cheesy Fuselounge wall fringe.

I did have a hard time letting go of Annie, largely because it was my first show. But at the time, I was already cast as Yente and had something to jump directly into. Millionaire's close was sad because it was such a small tight-knit cast, but I had no emotional attachment to Emma (frankly she annoyed me), and I had Guys and Dolls immediately after. Footloose, though... *sigh* This one has been especially hard to let go of. Ethel was me, and I was Ethel. She wore my clothes, now I'm wearing hers. She struggled and nurtured and danced victorious. I'm struggling and nurturing, and I hope someday to dance victorious. And I have nothing to jump directly into. Ragtime auditions are the evening of my first day of work. I may get cast, I may not. Even if I do, Ragtime is a big heavy show like Fiddler, not high-spirited and fun.

Until work/Ragtime, we're getting settled into the new place. Unpacking, moving in, adjusting. Trying not to think too much about upcoming changes. Missing our stage family (Sunshine and JB would argue about whose mom I was. "She's MY mom." "No, she's MY mom.").

God never gives you more than you can handle. Right about now I'm clinging to that promise.